I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
