He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
