i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
