I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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