whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
