Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
