Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
