she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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