Im at strip club and am horny
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
