We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
