2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
