evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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