Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Enjoy the penises
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize