No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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