if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
