if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
