If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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