I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
