I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
