Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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