I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
