Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
