It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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