Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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