i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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