I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
