i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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