Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
