If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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