first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
