her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
