so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
