I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
