I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
