doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
