His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
