Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
