I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
