Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
