woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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