i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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