omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
