I'm laying in your front yard are you home
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
