In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
