Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
