My nipple is on Facebook.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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