He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How's work?
Spinning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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