His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
