do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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