Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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