4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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