I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
