when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
...so i touched it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
