The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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