I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
