Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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