she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
