i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
