eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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