There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
