Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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