If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
