The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize