Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
