'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
