Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
